Breathless

March 25, 2009 § 10 Comments

by Larkin Vonalt

 

A young woman is standing on the sidewalk in front of a printing business. It is the end of July in Ohio and it is hot, already more than 80 degrees that morning. She is holding a cold glass bottle, a chilled SoBe for her boyfriend. She is seven months pregnant.

The boyfriend arrives, and if he isn’t thrilled to see her, he is very pleased to be met with the ice cold drink. It will turn out to be the highlight of an otherwise wretched day. His paycheck bounced. He’s living with a new girlfriend, who is 22 and demanding. He wants to marry her, he thinks, but he still has some unfinished business.

Heather, 7 months pregnant, has been evicted from the apartment they once shared, and is basically living on the street. He is concerned about her, about his child whom she carries. She’s on a waiting list for Section 8 housing, but until then, she’s sleeping rough. He is hoping to convince the new girlfriend, confusingly also named Heather, to let the pregnant girl come live with them.

We know this because Anthony Shuri, the boyfriend, has written about it in his online blog on OKCupid, a website not so much for dating but for hooking up. In his profile, the 31-year-old refers to himself as Nibbles the Owl, and he says he’s really good at “oral sex, driving, smoking pot and making as ass of himself to impress women.”  There is a photograph of a pudgy man of mixed race (“Yes, the fat one is me”) standing next to two women: one skinny as a boy, (“Rachel giver of advice,” he writes) and the other, in shorts and a t-shirt, her hair tucked behind her ears, is “Heather (Momma).” Her name is Heather Skelly and she is 23 years old.

By the end of August, Heather has moved in with Anthony and his girlfriend. Online, the girlfriend rages:

Get you and your pregnant ex girlfriend out of my apartment. The shit is your fault. You CHEATED on me and expect me to be ok with you having her live with me.. You just stare at me when I try to tell you how I am feeling.. You never say ANYTHING to make me believe that you want things to be better. I have been faithful to you since day 1 and I always turned my head when you spent the weekend in batavia.. and then you said you were still in love with her.. but you wanted to see what would happen with me.. Then You got HER pregnant. Just one month after I found out you had been sleeping with her and I thought it had stopped. Jump ahead about 6 mo and you get evicted.. because of her.. and we get a place together.. after a month of being with you, to myself, what I had wanted for so long I come home from work one day and find her shit in the middle of my living room floor, and its still there. All I want, have ever wanted, was to me with you. Why else would I put myself thru all this.. I just want us to be happy together, I keep waiting.

A day or so before Anthony had posted a coy, online apology that his girlfriend initially thought was addressed to her. But upon re-reading it, she realizes it is not about her at all. She thinks (perhaps correctly) that it is a message for yet a third woman, Brooke, a woman consumed with knitting and at some point, anyway, consumed with Anthony. She had used him for a model for a knitted hat she designed and wrote, in reference to that: Beware the obsessive man, though. As I was knitting the navy and white hat (see left), he said, “Ooh! What’s that?”I said, “You don’t need another hat.” He said, “Yes, I do! I only have two! What could I say? It’s his.

The photographs on knitty show Anthony in a blue jacket and a knit cap, reading. It makes you think of someone reading in a prison yard. There’s no doubt that the women in Anthony Shuri’s life would describe him as resembling Adam Duritz, the frontman for Counting Crows. If one can judge from Brooke’s online knitting blog (which puzzles Anthony) she seems to have her life a bit more together. Perhaps the knitting gives her focus, she quotes “knitting calms the drunken monkey of the mind.” Still, though, imagine the incessant click click click of knitting needles as the soundtrack to this story.

Imagine too, Heather Skelly. Hugely pregnant, sleeping in a cramped apartment with the boyfriend who left her and his new girlfriend; all of her worldly goods piled in the middle of the living room floor. She has nowhere else to go. Her suburban life came crashing down when she was a teenager. Her mother died suddenly of a heart attack when Heather was 15, her father two years later from cancer. Heather was left in the care of her older brother, Guy. But now Guy has drifted away too, living in his car, on the streets. Anthony is being self-righteous; he has to be there for his son, he has to put the child’s well being first. As if she is nothing but a vessel. She is grateful to not be on the streets, but it is a small enough gift.

Two weeks later, Anthony’s girlfriend has news for him, presented with a plastic stick on her outstretched hand. She too is in the family way, with a due date in May. On September 13, he writes: Two lines …not one, not none, but TWO lines… uh… whoops. Time to panic.

The next day, he rails about wanting to be a good father: Why is it automatically assumed that I won’t be a good father simply because we aren’t married? This is one of the dreams I’ve had all my life, for fuck’s sake! Some boys want to be firefighters, some boys want to be astronauts, and some boys want to be racecar drivers.. but you know what I want? Huh? I want to be a good father. If that makes me a bad person, then fuck you.

He has his chance soon enough, for five days later, Heather gives birth to Dominic Alexander. He has arrived a few weeks early, weighing in at just over five pounds. It must be a relief to be in the hospital, where at least no one is screaming. Heather’s experience of the birth is described off-handedly by Anthony as “a twelve hour Morphine nap followed by fourteen minutes (his emphasis) of intense pushing.”  The very next day he is vilifying her in order to prop himself up, but a day later finds comfort in something his boss says to him, that this is his chance to be a hero. “I don’t have to impress anyone else in the world,” Anthony writes, “because this boy is going to worship me for the rest of my life.”

When the baby is ten days old, Heather tells Anthony about a program she’s found that will shorten her waiting time on the public housing list. It should have made his day. She and the baby would be safe; they would be out of the newly pregnant girlfriend’s apartment. Heather would be on her way to putting her life together for herself and her son. But Anthony’s chief response is concern: will the program allow him to see the baby?

The boy is not even a month old before Anthony is weighing what’s in it for Anthony.

Seriously, aside from all the feel-good crap, what’s the point in my “taking responsibility” here? Pros: someone to get child support from, “male role model”(which seems rather pointless at the proposed 2 or 3 days a week), unconditional love (which is, admittedly, a really big one )and…? Cons: G/F hates the idea, “momma”‘s friends won’t talk to me, I have no legal rights in his care or upbringing, child support is money I can’t afford to spend (right now), Children’s Services wants me to take time off work (that I need to PAY child support) to take parenting classes (for my 2 days a week??), mom wants to switch from breastfeeding (which is by FAR superior to formula), simply so she won’t have to feed him as much (and I can’t say “Don’t do that, it’s bad for him”, because I have no rights)… I just keep running this list through my head over and over, and yet, other than guilt, and Dominic’s need for a “role model”, what’s the point? Tell me that, if you can.

For the next month Heather and her son don’t make enough of an impact on Anthony’s life for him to comment, even though they are still living there with him and his girlfriend. He is caught up instead with having heard from the “girl he lost his virginity to” and her claims (unfounded, says he) that he is the father of a child she gave up to the foster care system. He refers to the woman, Kelly, as “pure evil.”  Then, on November 6, a two-line entry: “Dominic and his mother have moved to a shelter in Xenia. God this sucks . . . I miss him already.”

Heather and Dominic find refuge through the Interfaith Hospitality Network of Greene County, part of national network formed to provide assistance to homeless families. As part of the program, the network runs a “Day Center” where clients can make phone calls, and receive training in job and life skills, like budgeting, nutrition and parenting. Local churches on rotation provide overnight shelter. It’s only temporary, two months, and Heather is still living out of a suitcase, but it is surely a blessed relief after the apartment.

Very quickly, Heather finds a job. She meets Nina Ivy through the Interfaith Hospitality Network, and is hired to work at Custom Care Cleaning in Xenia, a housecleaning company providing services to the elderly. Nina Ivy describes Heather as a “real hard worker,” “very determined,” and “very sweet.”  Heather must feel the best she’s felt in a long time, she’s finally starting to get her feet under her.

Two days before Thanksgiving, Anthony Shuri posts his second-to-last entry on his blog.

Okay.. I tried. I tried not to be bitter about this, but I can’t help it. Dominic’s mom get cash assistance from the state of Ohio (thanks, taxpayers), foodstamps from the federal government (thanks again), free clothes from various churches, and on top of all that, she should start getting child support soon… but the funny thing is, if I complain about it, I’m a horrible father, and of course, as pointed out earlier, just the fact that I got her pregnant means that I, and I alone, have ruined her life, and made Dominic’s worthless… but that’s okay, because I’m being “responsible”. Did I mention that I haven’t worked this week because my paycheck from Friday still hasn’t cleared? No, I guess I didn’t. I work all week for a sack of shit who can’t even make sure there’s enough money in the account for me to cash my check, but if I complain, I’m being irresponsible. Well, you know what? Fuck you. Tell me why the hell she is a more worthwhile parent than I am, or shut the fuck up.

The last entry of “Nibbles the Owl” is in January 2007 and consists only of the lyrics of “Bliss,” by the band Hinder, the theme of which is “I don’t wanna know it’s over.”

In May, when his girlfriend gives birth to “Nathan,” Anthony is a father again. Anthony takes Dominic a few days a week. Heather must still find him charming, as sometime during the heat of July, she finds that she is pregnant again. DNA tests will show that he is the father. Anthony, still, is trying to make a go of it with the girl he lives with, Nathan’s mother. In October, he travels to Everett, Washington with the girlfriend, and both boys, Dominic, age 11 months and Nathan, five months, to visit his adoptive mother, Vivian.  Vivian Shuri has photos made of the occasion, of her assembled family. In the pictures Anthony posts on his MySpace page, they look like a jolly, overfed family.

Did the girlfriend hear the echoes of Brooke, though, who had made this trip to Everett before her? Click click click. The only comment on the pictures is from “Kelly,” who muses that she wishes that her long lost daughter might have been included also.  (Kelly continues to be a constant, lonely presence on the social networking page.)

On Friday, November 17, 2007 Nina Ivy calls the police. Her usually reliable employee, Heather Skelly, hasn’t shown up for work for four days. Ivy is concerned. When police arrive at the apartment on Superior Avenue in Fairborn, they find Heather naked on the bathroom floor. She has been strangled.  She has been dead since Tuesday.

Dominic is found safe at the apartment of his father’s girlfriend. It takes the police four months to come for Anthony Shuri. First, they had been sent looking for a red herring, that “suspect” turns out to have been in the county jail at the time of Heather’s death. The autopsy reveals that Heather is four months pregnant, and we know what the DNA tests show. The autopsy also reveals semen in the vaginal vault; tests will show it is Anthony Shuri’s.  On March 6, he is arrested without incident.

The red file jacket in the Greene County courthouse tells the story in one word, writ large in magic-marker: Murder.

At last there is news coverage of Heather’s death. Until reporters find the charge on the Greene County court docket, the end of a young woman’s life on the bathroom floor of a Fairborn apartment didn’t merit their attention. The only photograph they can come with for her is the one on her Driver’s License.

Fairborn Police believe they have a pretty good idea of what happened in the apartment. Detective Lee Cyr tells a reporter from the Dayton Daily News that they believe that Anthony Shuri killed Heather Skelly to stop her from telling his girlfriend that she was pregnant by him for the second time.

Shuri’s friends will say this isn’t true, that Anthony loves children, that Heather and the girlfriend are “acquaintances,” and probably it is true that Anthony didn’t care if his girlfriend knew or not. But did he want all that grief all over again? We know how well it went down the first time, because he told us. Click, click, click, click, can’t you hear those needles making fabric of the yarn?

In the four months Anthony has to dream up a story to tell the prosecutor he comes up with a doozy: Erotic Asphyxiation.  Some like to call it asphyxiophilia. In either case, participants seek to enhance their sexual experience by being deprived of oxygen in the moments leading up to orgasm. (For a while there seem to be a rash of young men accidentally killing themselves masturbating in nooses. That’s auto-erotic asphyxiation, a term that was mistakenly used more than once in the reporting of Heather Skelly’s death.)

It’s a dangerous practice and people do die. Asphyxia is achieved by a number of methods, but most frequently the partner performing the asphyxia puts significant pressure on the carotid artery. This is an important detail, as the manner of most accidental deaths that occur in during erotic asphyxia are from ventricular fibrillation, caused by the interruption of the electrical impulse to the heart, which in turn was caused by the interruption of the blood supply via the carotid artery. Heather Skelly was strangled.  Strangulation, during mutually agreeable erotic asphyxia is almost unheard of.

There is one other inconsistency. Generally when someone dies during intercourse, the partner calls 911. Perhaps they try to revive their partner. They don’t drag the naked body of their partner to the bathroom, put on their pants and go home. In Seattle, Anthony Shuri’s mother, Vivian confirms that erotic asphyxiation is a practice that her adopted son engages in. While one readily expects that a mother might say any number of things to protect her son, who would think that the son would discuss such unusual sexual habits with his mother, especially when he was struggling just to find a way to tell his Mom that his girlfriend was pregnant.

He went away and left her body cooling on the floor.

Anthony Shuri was charged with murder, reckless homicide, involuntary manslaughter and illegal termination of a pregnancy.  His attorney told reporters that he felt the prosecutors had a weak case, given that they had added the reduced charges and that it had taken them four months to bring any charges at all. Additionally he felt that the fact that Shuri was having intercourse with Skelly when he murdered her clouded the issue. “Apparently we have a sexual component to it, which instantly gives a defense to it, opposed to normal murders which are usually more black and white.”

The defense attorney also admitted that he’d never even heard of erotic asphyxiation, let alone been involved in a case that centered on it. Nonetheless he  is convinced of his client’s innocence, telling the Greene County News that the Fairborn police were mistaken in their theories. “Clearly, he did not have any anger toward her about the child, otherwise he wouldn’t have been having sex with her.”

Anthony Shuri left her on the bathroom floor. Walked away. Told no one.

Who knows why Greene County prosecutor Stephen K. Haller offered the deal he did. Repeated phone calls and an in-person visit to his office in Xenia failed to gain an audience with the man. The deal was if Anthony Shuri pleaded guilty to two counts of reckless homicide, which would result in reduced prison time, the other charges would go away.

Could Haller have won a guilty verdict from the jury? You bet.

Was there motive? By the boatload.

Evidence? Enough to make Horatio Caine smile.

Are there holes in Anthony Shuri’s story? Holes big enough to drive a truck through.

Half an hour on the Internet would have given Stephen Haller enough information about erotic asphyxiation to show that Anthony Shuri was lying. He just couldn’t be bothered. Perhaps the good people of Greene County will remember this when he stands for reelection, but it’s doubtful.

Heather Skelly’s friends turned out to see Anthony Shuri plead guilty to two counts of reckless homicide. Nina Ivy was there. Gale French was there. She told the Dayton Daily News that the relationship between Heather and Anthony was “never good,” and described Anthony as “overbearing, demanding and abusive” towards Heather. She came to court on May 15, 2008 hoping to see justice for her friend. She went away disappointed.

Reading the trial notes in the red-jacketed folder in the Greene County courthouse reveals Common Pleas Court Judge Stephen Wolaver seemed frustrated at the few options presented to him by the prosecutor’s deal. He invited Anthony Shuri to make a comment, but for once Anthony Shuri had nothing to say. Judge Wolaver sentenced him to the absolute maximum sentence the charge of reckless homicide allows: five years for the death of a 20-week fetus, five years for the death of Heather Skelly.

He left her on the floor.

Heather’s son, Dominic, just 18 months old at the time of his father’s sentencing for the death of his mother, is living in Seattle with his grandmother, Vivian Shuri. He will be just shy of 12 when his father is released. Somehow it seems unlikely that he will worship Anthony in the way that Anthony thought he would.

Anthony’s girlfriend is still in Kettering with her son, waiting for her man. Through MySpaceshe is in regular contact with Kelly, the woman who claims to have borne Anthony Shuri’s first child. Somewhere in Ohio, Brooke is knitting. click click click click.

One of Heather Skelly’s neighbors, Mark Neyman, paid for Heather’s cremation and claimed her ashes. He is trying to find Heather’s brother. “She was a sweet girl,” he told the Greene County News. “I can’t think of a bad thing to say about her. She was never in a bad mood; she would do anything for anybody. Unfortunately, she would do anything for Anthony, too.”

 

 

 

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§ 10 Responses to Breathless

  • Jeanne says:

    Holy cow! Now if he wasn’t the most irresponsible chap in the state, who is, huh? So sad. Very sad. He should have no rights to any of his children, ever! That poor girl and unborn child…

  • Jeff says:

    Holy Cow to the involuntary manslaughter charge.

  • Faith says:

    Anthony Shuri is the lowest scum in this world– for what he did to Heather Skelly and little Dominic. The same could have happened to my daughter, because you see she is the other Heather mentioned in this story. Anthony is trying to file an appeal and I pray everyday that he rots in jail. I DO NOT want hiom anywhere near my daughter and precious grandson. Dominic is a sweet little boy and I feel he is in the best place he could be–with a family who loves him.

  • Vivian Shuri says:

    I just read your well written article and I feel sad that you did not do more research that would have given you the insight to write a deeper and more revealing article. You see, I am Anthony’s mother and I would have been willing to talk to you if you had tried to contact me.
    First, to clarify something – I did not condone or even know about the erotic asphyxiation until Anthony told me about what had happened AFTER THE FACT. At this point in his life he was not sharing much with me – I didn’t even know about his two babies until I phoned him one day and heard them in the background. I did know that Anthony was engaging in behavior I did not approve of and it had caused a rift between us. However I do love Anthony and always will – I hope this time in prison will be a time he can work on turning his life around. I believe anyone can change. By the way, Anthony has two well adjusted, loving siblings that have great families of their own.
    Let me tell you a little bit about Anthony’s history. He was very premature because his biological mother was only thirteen. He had a cerebral hemorrhage at birth that left him temporarily blind and deaf (for six months) and had brain damage that was visible on X-rays. He had several operations, including a shunt for hydrocephalus and open heart surgery before he was due to be born. We adopted him when he was 18 months old and we were aware at the time that he was a special needs child. We were first time parents and adored our child, but it soon became obvious that he had problems that were beyond us and we sought help. He was diagnosed as failure to bond and spent many years in therapy, for a time even in residential care. Anthony has had many struggles with his behavior, sometimes successfully, but obviously often not. I will never make excuses for what he has done – he is responsible for his behavior – but I hope some understanding of his background will be enlightening.

    • Lindsay says:

      This story is tragic but I hope you don’t blame yourself. I have done a lot of research on Reactive Attachment Disorder/failure to bond, as I plan to foster/adopt special needs children myself. It is a nightmare of a disorder and I’m sure they do not fully explain all of the issues your new bundle of joy may have. But you gave him the best chance at a normal life, much more than he started with, and especially after missing the first 18 months and with so many medical issues, medications, and pain. There is no real way to “fix” any of this, and unfortunately no ethical way to keep him apart from society until he has done something as perminant as this. I hope that he does get help in prison, and honestly, more for his own sake, kept on a short leash when he gets out. And please make sure Dominic stays safe. I pray that he gets to enjoy his life, the one Heather was desperately trying to better herself to improve.

  • Jay Jewell says:

    Anthony Has always been skum of the earth ever sence I have known him But heather was one of my best friend. Ill see u again heather and as far a Anthony Ill see you again too. If anyone has information on how to find Her brother Guy please please E-MAIL ME. And Guy if see this I love you and iam home from arizona. Find me how ever you can. JAY

  • Elisha Davis says:

    I just spoke to Kelly, a friend of mine when I was a teenager after about 15 years, and came across this article after she told me about what happened with Anthony Shuri. It was sad, but somehow not totally surprising to come across this story. I feel compelled to leave a reply. I think that Tony was a great manipulator and could really get into your head if you were vunerable enough. He seemed to prey on young women from abusive or broken homes, including myself, and spun stories and made promises he couldn’t keep. In retrospect, he seems to have sociopathic tendancies, and although this may be through no fault of his own, he should be under psychiatric care. I pray Tony can make the changes and get the help that he needs to stop exploiting women, if anything, for his children’s sake. I thank God that there were things more pressing in my life that kept me from pursuing him further than I did. My thoughts and prayers go out to the families that have been touched by this tragedy, especially the innocent children that are involved.

  • Lindsay says:

    I went to middle school with Heather Skelly. I have always wondered what happened to her, and check Facebook from time to time. Yesterday I Googled her name and “Centerville, Ohio” and found this page. Now we know.

    I was hoping for a swan story, for one of the least popular girls in middle school, who broke her back sledding and spent months in a torso cast, carrying around a pillow to sit on. She sat with us at lunch, because Melissa said she was going to and if we didn’t like it, we could leave. She was always nice and friendly, despite a rough exterior. I was cordial, but we were never close, and only had one class together the entire time we were there. I remember seeing her once in high school, glad she had found some new friends. I moved to another state halfway through freshman year.

    I don’t think her home life was that great, from the disheveled appearance to hand-me-down clothes to frequently not having lunch money. I was raised in a house of plenty and didn’t understand poverty. I was taught that poor people made bad choices that caused them to be poor, and nothing of the children who couldn’t fend for themselves or those with special circumstances such as disability. I wish I had more compassion and empathy as a child.

    Now to find out that both her parents passed and she was left on her own so young, her brother missing, manipulated by this Tony guy (I understand the mental health issues and the difficult cards he himself was dealt, and I don’t have the answer, but it is unfortunate that he could not have been kept from harming people based on such a stereotypical profile of deviance), got evicted, had a baby while living in the new GF’s house…then FINALLY has the bright spot of a baby who she could love and raise in a better environment, help from those around her, safe housing, a good job…and then murdered. Bless the neighbor who paid for cremation and is saving the ashes for her brother, or perhaps Dominic.

    What a tragic, brief life. I really have to believe for the sake of my own sanity that there is a Heaven beyond this life, and that she is there. She deserves neverending happiness after enduring the life she had here…but with a smile on her face until the end, always trying her hardest.

  • I am Vivian, Tony’s mother and I want to thank you for your encouraging words. I welcome hearing about Heather Skelly and I would welcome anything you could tell me about her. We would like to raise Dom to love and respect his biological mother and we know very little about her. Dominic is thriving after a few rocky spots – he is a remarkably loving and insightful child. He is very creative and thinks “outside the box”. He is aware of his background in an age appropriate way and has worked through some of his feelings about it in therapy. I believe he has great things ahead of him.
    P.S. I hope you go forward with adoption – it is a wonderful way to enrich your life and someone else’s in the process.

    • Lindsay says:

      My friends and are we’re just sort of…stunned. She was always very nice to everyone, quiet, never fought back, but often lacked clean clothes, hair, or lunch money. The things that “matter” in middle school. I had never seen, let alone experienced, poverty or instability at home by that point in my life.

      I feel guilt looking back, knowing what I know and a few kids that I *knew* were being beaten! scared to death to enter their houses! at times made to sleep outside despite being 7, but my parents said I couldn’t call in anonymously like the TV and police said we could. Not our business, even if I had heard the screams and seen the blood myself.

      I didn’t live close enough to Heather to know her family, and since “child abuse” meant “not letting me pick the flavor of soda that week” and the world focused on me, I figured hers did too. She must just not want new clothes or acne treatment or makeup or hair. People accused her of being gay, because of the short hair and the boyish clothes. She never really seemed phased. Looking back I guess she was more on her brother’s level than ours…we probably had pretty childish things going on compared to her life.

      I remember her being out of music class for over a month one particularly snowy winter. She broke her back and at that time the only thing they could do was put her in a full body cast. Like, plaster hard cast in shape of a “wife beater” on a heavyset girl coming-of-age. I think everyone knew that making fun of the situation was just…too low. But I’m sure it was embarrassing anyway. It stretched all her shirts and I know she would have needed help with dressing and bathing and such (plus I injured my spinal cord 4 years ago and use wheelchair so…I know).

      The whole story is incredibly sad, like I probably said before I was looking for a happy turnaround after a rough start in her life…and found this write-up. However, Dominic was created out of her life, so the story isn’t over yet.

      I really hope you find her brother – I saw stuff on ancestry sites where people had tracked her/her brother/parents but the thing ended…I am on an iPad but for Dominic’s sake of identity you may want to try to trace it down? I know from friends who were adopted can struggle later…but you probably know that.

      I’m glad Dominic is in good hands with you, not the system, and getting early intervention. Also praise God he did not witness anything, was not involved in the struggle, etc…it sounds like for all that could have made this end even worse, at least he came out with a long visit to grandma’s?

      It seems like you know Tony better than anyone else here, but I just can’t end this without begging you to use extreme caution letting him influence Dominic. He needs a father figure, but he also needs stability.

      My email is LSheffie at Gmail dot com if this website ever goes away. It’s an unofficial write up but so very well-written and emotive, and the only one who managed to even find a photo of her, which breaks my heart.

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